How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
