I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
