Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
