can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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