The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Enjoy the penises
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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