I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize