Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
