I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
