Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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