Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Couch. On fire.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize