I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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