Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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