Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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