i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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