two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just pee around me
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
