We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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