lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
