just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
