he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
