By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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