This is not my ceiling
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
