Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My life is pants optional.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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