Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
