I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Randomize
