well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
