Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There r osticjed everywhere
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
