@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
