Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize