I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize