You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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