Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You have to summon your inner elephant
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
