Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
