sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
