I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
