So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
