I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
