The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I will pee on everything he values.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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