Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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