Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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