Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
