"it" just moved
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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