FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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