if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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