She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
