ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
