She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize