What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
