just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
