Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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