When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
