I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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