Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.

Fav 15 877 1701
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(219): View more from Indiana

Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.

Fav 14 1145 5711
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(504): View more from Louisiana

once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.

Fav 6 4351 980
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(812): View more from Indiana

Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes

Fav 8 884 2233
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(785): View more from Kansas

I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.

Fav 3 788 813
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?

Fav 4 1020 624
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(626): View more from California

Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.

Fav 2 463 921
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something

Fav 2 28 73
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(303): View more from Colorado

Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.

Fav 0 43 65
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