I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
