I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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