I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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