Im at strip club and am horny
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
