The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
