dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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