Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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