please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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