I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
