escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
