I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
