it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
