My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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