She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
