I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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