Who wears a wallet chain?!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
