It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
