Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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