all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
NoShamevember. You game?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
