WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
