You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
A bitchslap is in order.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
