Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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