I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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